This post on family is about the support they give in what would otherwise feel like a dark and lonely world. I think we've all had a moment in a group of strangers where we felt misunderstood or outcast. Even if just for a minute. Then you thought, "If that had been my sister, or my dad back there, they would have thought that joke was damn funny!"
When I moved to San Diego to attend the University of CA, San Diego, I had to leave my immediate family behind in Northern CA, but my Aunt Valerie and my Uncle Doug immediately stepped in to help me feel at home. They helped me get step in the dorms, brought me furniture and goodies, invited me over all the time, drove me around town just for the hell of it, and helped me move out at the end of the year. I didn't have to ask, they just did it. They just wanted to, because in my family, that's just what you do. They told me they were proud all the time and that they loved me. Now that I'm graduated, they are still there, trying to help me move to a new part of town, figure out college loans, even teach me guitar.
Today when I went over to visit and pick up my rabbit they were babysitting (yes, they even babysit my pets), my Aunt told me that my cousin, Hayden was having a pretty rough time in boot camp. My family is very proud of him for getting the Air Force, but we all knew it was going to be rough for him in basic training. My Stepfather is veteran of the coastguard, who did not hesitate to tell us (after Hayden was out of the room), "Everyone cries at boot camp." I don't know if this is really true, but it sounds pretty world-shaking to me. My Aunt Becky sent my Aunt Valerie a message saying she had gotten a letter from Hayden that was just "heart-wrenching." In his letter home, he asked for letters from everyone in the family. Hayden never asks for anything, but here he was asking his family for help.
Hayden and I aren't super tight, we used to be as kids but grow apart as we grew up. But he's a good guy and he's also my cousin. I thought back to when I was a new freshman at UCSD and how lucky I had been to have my Aunt and Uncle just 25 minutes away. Hayden doesn't have that. He's not even allowed to call anyone. When I think about how much I missed my mother and if it would have been like to not be able to call her...that would have been awful. And on top of that, he's going through serious physical conditioning and I'm sure awful mental stress too. I remember the little boy I grew up with. Eager and curious. Smart and stubborn as hell. Well...I went home and wrote that kid a letter. I tried not to be too mushy get I don't wanting him getting beat up at boot camp (or whatever it is they might do to him there, I don't pretend to know). But I wrote him a letter.
Families are an ingenious creation of love. Not all have parents or are even blood related, but the bond and internal instinct we feel to support each other is very real and something of a miracle. I know I never could have gotten into and through college without my Mother, Father, Aunt, and Uncle.
Hayden never asks for help, but in a major life-changing even for him, the people he asked for help from was his family. And he will get his wish, I'm sure of it. We can't be there to physically pick him up off the ground when he falls to the ground at camp, but we can send him our support. I know he'll make it out ok and its just a rough transition for him, but I hope he knows his family and acting through us, a higher power, God is with him. He is not alone as long as he wants us to be there for him.
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| Unfortunate dude at Air Force Basic Training Camp. |
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