Rattlesnakes

As Bill Engvall once said, "A thing that can move with no legs? Now that's the devil right there." I don't know about the devil, but I know that hearing a rattlesnake in the bushes puts the fear of God in me! Fuck that bush, I will definitely pee somewhere else- that bush is all yours, you deadly hose with needs for teeth, springs for muscles, and arsenic for spit. And sidewinders are hell in an elastic band. An elastic band that can move like nothing should!

Well FUCK that shit. But seriously, not only are snakes really freakin' creepy, but they are amazing. That's part of why I'm so damn afraid of them. Now I don't want rattlesnakes eliminated from the planet or anything- I know they play an important part in the ecosystem and all that jazz, but I sure as hell don't want it anywhere NEAR me! And nor does most anything else in the animal kingdom. They are scaly, fast, poisonous, can fit in small spaces, and have slits for eyes...who would WANT to be around one? Only a truly powerful being would intentionally create one of these things to occupy the same space as them. Rattlesnakes actually scare me into believing.